SnargleTooth is missing! If found, do not return. There is no reward, and this is not a missing poster. This is a public service announcement for your safety. Do not look SnargleTooth directly in the eyes. If you hear his menacing hiss-bawk, then start drinking! He also smells like candy corn and used handkerchiefs, so start smoking to combat the smell. Please don't listen to any of his lies or riddles; you will be stupider as a result.

I also used this picture in conjunction with a writing sample about Dragon Tamers for a job application. I got an interview, but I didn't get the job.

It's a double-duck mustache - actually, it's a moustache, since that's the cooler spelling. Do you really need more of an explanation? OK, turn it over, and it's also a mouth-angel (see the halo?) riding a faint chariot. I wanted to add a javelin, but I wasn't sure how that would fit.

Perhaps reaching Nirvana is all about finding the right hat.

In the year 783X954Z, social status will once again be determined by facial markings. Meet your future Pharaoh.

Let's take a perfectly delightful activity, like feeding a puppy ice cream, and make it disturbing.

"How'd you like your coffee?"

"Baby, I like my coffee like I like my women... I like all kinds of coffee."

What in the world did that mean? For example, what type of woman would match a decaf? She wasn't the type of woman to spit in his cup, but she also wasn't one to fall for cheap lines.

Wait - had that even been a line? He'd basically just said that he liked all types of women - not very specific or flattering. She didn't count the sugar cubes as she dropped them into his cup, and she didn't pretend to trip when she dumped the cup on his right thigh.

"Augh-hot cha cha cha, you're just full of surprises. Do you have room for another one?"

"Another what?"

"It's a surprise, but first we have to figure out what to do about these pants, any suggestions?"

"How about you don't get any more coffee spilled on them?"

Why weren't any of his lines working? Surely it wasn't a matter of delivery or rehearsal, so it must have been a lack of sophisticated appreciation on her part. She didn't even know how to make a cup of coffee without spilling it. He changed tact.

"Your number, I want it."

"My number is 17."

"That's a good start. Keep going."

"That's it. You were asking for my age, right?"

"oh."

Can I draw a complete alien cityscape on the back of an index card? Does the government lie to us? Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Is every planet we reach already dead? My girlfriend thinks it looks more like a dragon, but these are questions you must answer on your own.

Have you ever struggled to find a way to tell your younger relatives that death is OK and to rock on? Now you don't have to! Witness the death bobble head, complete with rock on and OK signs. This approachable skull with cool facial hair will rock away your fears about the afterlife. If you would like an actual copy to give you peace of mind, then please send me 4 monthly payments of 45.99. It's OK and rock on!

I had this dream where I was cruising through a garden. I went down a side path and came across two of my friends (who I've never seen before) who were hooking up. For some reason, the hook up was not something to be applauded. The girl was wearing some sexily cut burlap sack, and the dude was wearing a g-string covered in peanut shells. Unfortunately, a multitude of people were heading down that same path, and we were about to be discovered. When I realized that these people were from the Onion news network, I decided to take the heat. I slipped into the broken peanut shell g-string and strode toward the cameras. They had some beer there for me, so I drank deep before explaining... "For too long we have subjected the Peanutopians to our brutal ways. They are a peaceful people with advanced technologies, but they would also be a fearsome enemy. We grind their bones to make a stupid butter and give them no thanks. They are slow to anger, but we have passed that threshold. Expect a worldwide attack from Peanutopians any day now!" As I told this lie, I realized that it had become truth. God help me for unleashing the Peanutopians onto mankind.

This is the type of picture that I draw when I have no idea what to draw. I usually start with a basic shape. I was drawing this while I was administering a standardized test for one of my classes. I looked at one of their math problems that dealt with a rhombus and the slope of one its diagonals (hint: the slopes of perpendicular lines are negative reciprocals). This rhombus turned out to be a clam, clamping its mouth shut to save a sacred treasure. Two octopuses (the larger ones) are trying to pry this clam open, but they are thwarted by two smaller blue octopuses with longer barbed legs. These smaller blue octopuses are also holding up a sacred pine-apple fruit against all odds. However, they are in trouble since the large octopuses have brought a secret weapon (notice the sea urchins attached to each leg via a strand of seaweed). When I started from the bottom, the whole thing turned out to be a magical genie consisting of this entire battle. When I turn the entire drawing over, then it becomes some horned demon wearing a magician's cap. Can you find anything else that this might be? Thank you rhombus.