SnargleTooth is missing! If found, do not return. There is no reward, and this is not a missing poster. This is a public service announcement for your safety. Do not look SnargleTooth directly in the eyes. If you hear his menacing hiss-bawk, then start drinking! He also smells like candy corn and used handkerchiefs, so start smoking to combat the smell. Please don't listen to any of his lies or riddles; you will be stupider as a result.

I also used this picture in conjunction with a writing sample about Dragon Tamers for a job application. I got an interview, but I didn't get the job.

It's a double-duck mustache - actually, it's a moustache, since that's the cooler spelling. Do you really need more of an explanation? OK, turn it over, and it's also a mouth-angel (see the halo?) riding a faint chariot. I wanted to add a javelin, but I wasn't sure how that would fit.

Perhaps reaching Nirvana is all about finding the right hat.

In the year 783X954Z, social status will once again be determined by facial markings. Meet your future Pharaoh.

Let's take a perfectly delightful activity, like feeding a puppy ice cream, and make it disturbing.

"How'd you like your coffee?"

"Baby, I like my coffee like I like my women... I like all kinds of coffee."

What in the world did that mean? For example, what type of woman would match a decaf? She wasn't the type of woman to spit in his cup, but she also wasn't one to fall for cheap lines.

Wait - had that even been a line? He'd basically just said that he liked all types of women - not very specific or flattering. She didn't count the sugar cubes as she dropped them into his cup, and she didn't pretend to trip when she dumped the cup on his right thigh.

"Augh-hot cha cha cha, you're just full of surprises. Do you have room for another one?"

"Another what?"

"It's a surprise, but first we have to figure out what to do about these pants, any suggestions?"

"How about you don't get any more coffee spilled on them?"

Why weren't any of his lines working? Surely it wasn't a matter of delivery or rehearsal, so it must have been a lack of sophisticated appreciation on her part. She didn't even know how to make a cup of coffee without spilling it. He changed tact.

"Your number, I want it."

"My number is 17."

"That's a good start. Keep going."

"That's it. You were asking for my age, right?"

"oh."

Can I draw a complete alien cityscape on the back of an index card? Does the government lie to us? Does the Pope wear a funny hat? Is every planet we reach already dead? My girlfriend thinks it looks more like a dragon, but these are questions you must answer on your own.